CBD Infused Gummies: 6 Things to Do with Them

Posted on July 3, 2019
Filed under category

CBD Infused Gummies get a lot of press.

They’re cute. They’re loveable. They make you feel good and they taste great. 

Bears, worms, fish, fruit shapes, octopuses or octopi, if you prefer: They’re all fun, relaxing, life-changing, colorful, and some have just barely survived being eaten.

If you’re not going to eat them, gummy candies can and will get you into some trouble. Possibly because of their convenient sizes, they end up being used as bumpers, buffers, plugs, stop-its, spacers, and minor shock absorbers. 

Since they’re also terrifically, translucently colorful, some consumers have taken to admiring their ability to filter normal white daylight, rather than simply consuming them. 

For the sake of your own gummies, eat them, and try to follow the following - most carefully. 

10 Things to Do with CBD Infused Gummies 

1. Use gummies while you’re working. They’re too tasty, and while your newly cushioned fold-down desktop may be smoother and less prone to noisy crashes with a gummy smooshed in there, the effect won’t last and that otherwise, tasty gummy will soon be not only smooshed but dry and sad.

Instead, eat them, and enjoy!

2. Use gummies to color your life. Wallpapers and painted wall surfaces are ruined by them and, in the absence of the poster you hung with a gummy, well, that could ruin anyone’s afternoon chill. Similarly, they will leave a gummy residue on wine bottles or similarly stoppered vessels. 

On the other hand, pick your favorite colors and enjoy those ones first, then eat your least favorite colors after.

3. Use gummies to make your house better…  As fascinated as we may have been with the little rubber feet on some of our favorite statuary, in removing those little feet, we’ve now lost them. That’s just our tough luck. No gummy bear should have to suffer being smooshed underneath a thirty-pound dolphin sculpture that should probably have been left well enough alone in the casino gift shop where it was purchased. 

Then, enjoy your gummies in the comfort of your properly decorated home. 

4. Gummies have tremendous aesthetic appeal. But don’t use them as decorations or accessories. Yes, you can still admire them. Appreciate their textures and their suppleness. The way they appreciate a pinch has made some of them endearing. But please, eat those ones next. Don’t leave them around because you like the way they look. 

5. Proselytize at a distance. We know you like to spread the good word, and in some sense, simply telling people about your gummy candies is great. But a lot of consumers have found that, when describing gummies to real-time friends, or former-friends, those people want to try the gummies. This frequently leads to the kind of conflict that gummies are intended to help us forget. It’s far better to spread the word about the gummies from the safe distance of the telephone or the internet. Poems are also a widely accepted format. We’re hoping to publish many of the finest odes in this space in the future.

6. Chew slowly and deliberately. Never chew any gummy candy rapidly. Chewing, the motion of the muscles and jaw in your face will likely indicate to those nearby that you are enjoying delicious CBD infused gummy candies and that makes it that much more likely that they will ask you what you are eating - or worse they might want some. At office parties and similar functions: 

  • Stand facing the wall

  • Chew slowly while holding a document or similar printed material in front of your face.

  • This indicates to co-workers that you are not eating but still working, while they have proven themselves slovenly and drunken. 

  • Chewing slowly and deliberately will make you appear as though you are pondering something important.

Tagged with